"I prepared an excuse for an emergency, and the emergency felt offended I was so ready..."
" I didn’t skip it—I strategically rescheduled the experience for my future self. "
" I was busy explaining to another person why I’m always busy. "
" I prepared an excuse for an emergency, and the emergency felt offended I was so ready. "
" I needed a moment, that moment needed another moment, and now we’re emotionally married. "
" Time moved faster than expected last night. "
" I left early, arrived late, and honestly I’m confused too. "
" If you trace the problem far enough back, it started before I was born. "
" In the grand tradition of my ancestors, I formally decline responsibility. "
" It looks like my fault, sounds like my fault, but legally speaking… it belongs to someone else. "
" I was going to come, but then I thought about not coming, and honestly? That version of me won. "
